Whew! Busy and Tired; Still Enjoying Anyway

I miss writing here.  Before the holidays last year and until now, I have been busy.  I miss those times when I had quite a lot of free time to relax and write.

My work isn’t really difficult, but many little things do add up to take up a lot of my time.  Despite a little stress and less time to spend with my family and love ones, I’m enjoying it.  I have even actually thought about the extension of the project (beyond my contract period).

Now, I’m writing and taking up a bit of my work time to “unwind” and fight my sleepiness!  Yeah, I’m so sleepy. 

Life isn’t all about work. I have maximized to my holiday break (though I didn’t have some time to relax), went to see a bit of the open air concert during UP’s Centennial Kick Off celebration (and see the fireworks!) and enjoyed some dinner or coffee nights with econ friends, including Princess’ birthday treat.

Life’s great. Despite the ups and downs. Or because of the ups and downs. Yeah. 

Whew! Gotta get back to work. Hahaha!!!

A Simple Reminder

I just want to write a simple letter and remind myself…

Kate,

I know there are a lot of things that you need to do.  Some may be easy, some may be difficult.  At a glance all may seem hard, at a second glance they become easy.

All needs to be done as soon as possible.  You want them all finished ASAP.  You want to do the best.  You want your work to be the best, to exemplify excellence.  You want them all finished in an instant!

But remember, a really good work done needs time and a lot of thinking, especially with your kind of work.  There may be three things you want to accomplish in a day, but reality will tell you that you cannot.  Maybe it is possible, but not with the work attitude that you want.

So take your time.  Set numerous goals, prioritize, then aim to accomplish only one major task or two in a day.

I know you’re good, you’ve got the brain.  You used to have the passion and the discipline.  Please find it and bring it back.  Okay?

Thank you.

That’s nice.  Hehe.  Talking to myself.  For anyone to read and see.

Take a deep breath. Work with some peace of mind.

The Transformation

Last Friday, I took a picture of my office desk.  My things were so much in a disarray, looking like:

So I decided to clean it the followin week (this week).

Success! Yesterday, I have finally turned it to something that looks like:

I’m just so happy.  It really feels good to work with a clean and organized atmosphere.  Yey!

However, this may be non-sense for most people. Hehe.

On Sept. 26: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE MUSINGS

<09:48>

I find it difficult to start the day with a work I hate to do.  It stalls me.  Sometimes for hours.  Can I just submit a very poor material that I’ve made?  I hate that.

.

<09:54>

A lot of information, thoughts, ideas, worries, etc. are going through my mind right now.  A heck lot of lots that I can’t sort out what really is going through my mind right now.  So confused that I am almost paralyzed in my work.  And my career.  Oh the confused gal that is me — again.  Am I just thinking too much?

.

<11:22>

Back from an hour-long late breakfast, I’m trying hard to do my work.  Good luck.

.

<11:24>

I hate this — not being able to do my work.  I can’t work!

I can’t make my brain work.  I can’t make my brain think the things I should be thinking to do my work.

I feel like a helpless child burdened by an enormous task I am not capable of doing.

I feel like crying for being helpless.  I want to cry for not being able to keep up with the challenge.  I want to cry for the state of mind I have right now.

.

<12:09>

I miss Dianne.  Good luck to you my friend.  Even for just a short while and most often confined in the walls of our office building, the moments shared with you were precious.

.

<12:17>

I want to go abroad, work there, and nurture myself to a better me.  I want to stay away from the comforts of my home and make myself stronger in a different culture.

I want to try out how I’d fare in an environment where no one really knows me, where I have a lot more freedom to explore and do something unconventional of me.

Here, despite the knowledge and the attitude that I can do whatever I want (responsibly) even if that’s something very unexpected of me, I still tend to gear toward the traditional expectations of what I should become.  That’s a #$% thing.

When will I have that courage?

.

<13:40>

So full.

Back from another hour-long break – lunch break.

Can I write about nothingness the whole day?  Or at least most of the day, with the rest of the time being devoted to learning photography, web design, scuba diving, sky diving, animation, and baking, among others.

.

<14:26>

The most difficult part of writing – starting the piece.

.

<14:44>

I hate it when I’m distracted.  Please stop the drama.  Too much emotional drain already.

.

<15:01>

Oh I hate it.  Now I’m distracted.  I may be writing the first part of the paper, but with the constant reminder of our conversation, I can’t do this efficiently.

.

<15:17>

I may just be simply lazy.  No.  People actually don’t think I’m lazy.  Quite the opposite.

Oh, this can be the result of my head being bumped against the corner of an elevated corridor (fortunately, not the super corner portion) at an early age.  Or the antibiotics injected to me as a baby.  Or the general anesthesia running through my veins for hours (minimum four hours, I can’t recall).  Or the effect of celebrating my 7th birthday on the destructive eruption of Mt. Pinatubo with lots of horizontal and vertical earthquakes and a sky of total darkness.

Maybe, crazy? Hahaha.

I’m insanely sane. =))

.

<15:56>

Wow, time flies by so fast.  Hahaha. )

Oh my gosh, I’m not crazy.   )

.

<15:57>

Still no Internet and Yahoo Messenger.  Ooohh… I love the “serenity” that a “no-YM” brings.

.

<17:42>

Now I’m hungry.  After an hour-long break of just a small cup of coffee without cream, I want food to fill my grumbling stomach.

.

<18:57>

Almost ready to go home.

Sleepiness Drowns Me to Nothing

So sleepy that I can’t do my work.

Despite having nine hours of sleep, my eyes just keep on protesting and wanting to close.  My mind can’t seem to work properly.  I just want to sleep, that’s it.

However, I have to do my work.  I know what I have to do, I know what I have to write, but I can’t make my brain to squeeze that something that it knows into something worth for someone to read.  Yet, that something is so easy to do.  Duh.

 I think I should have written, “Sleepiness Drowns Me to Oblivion.”

 What a mess.