Who am I? I remember having to answer that question years ago for a college essay or reflection paper. The only thing I can recall writing (or thinking) had something to do with Spiderman – that I was not Spiderman. It is Spiderman time again, now on its third sequel. Again, I have to answer the question, “Who am I?”
Duh. What a boring and poorly written first paragraph. It accurately reflects my current state of mind and self right now – my mind, self-awareness, self-esteem, self-worth, body, soul, social life, and focus in life are all in a poor condition.
It has always been difficult for me to answer that question. In my Friendster profile, this is what I’ve written to describe myself:
I’m an idealist. I want to contribute something to the society. I want to have a positive impact on the nation’s environment and resource management, as well as an inspiring effect on the nation’s youth.
I have just realized I am competitive. However, I give more of me in activities and tasks that are not related with my current job. I hope I could finally get the courage to try and explore career possibilities in another field. Soon.
I still have to learn more in life. I am like a baby in this world I am in now. Sometimes I am disheartened with the indifference to the society of the people around me. I hope I will not become like them - jaded. I aspire to live by my idealism and do something to bring it to life.
In job interviews, I’m at a lost with this one. There was even a time that I included, “I like hanging out in Sunken Garden gazing at the stars with my friends.” That may be a good point to show the human side of me, but I blurted that one out of context with the things that I was saying then.
Now, I’m writing an almost non-sense group of words while trying to dig out of myself the answer to the question I have posted above.
To begin with, I’ll start with the simple facts. I’m Katherine Manlambos Farrales born on June 15, 1984, which was a Friday, at UST Hospital, Manila. My parents are Alvin Matic Farrales and Gladys Dela Cruz Manlambos Farrales. My mother passed away when I was 13 years old so I was a teenager without a mother. I think that fact of my life would be helpful for someone intrigued by this lady’s confused life. Anyway, as I’ve said I was born in Manila but I grew up in Castillejos, Zambales. Initially, my family lived with my grandparents (father’s side) in San Jose. So young, I had no memory of us moving from San Jose to our home now in San Agustin. My memory could not even affirm that we indeed lived in San Jose for a while. That fact was simply based on pictures and logic.
As a young child, my playmates were usually my cousins Naning and Maylene. I was “passive” and not assertive of my wants. Among the three of us, I was the first one to go to school. Memory’s too hazy; I can’t dwell into more details.
Let me just share one story of how a weakling I was. It was one of the few mornings that I joined my classmates to play langit-lupa or habulan in Aldersgate Kiddie School. Basta habulan iyon na may takbuhan at pinipilit kong hindi mataya. Then I tripped. I was down. We have just started the game. My head hit the corner of the pavement/catwalk. It was my forehead in particular. They then rushed to where I was. Did I cry? I can’t remember. Though I remember myself thinking, “What a beautiful brooch. Heart-shaped and red.” It was a drop of blood from my forehead. So I was rushed to a clinic. My mother, who they reached in the public market (we had a stall there) did not want me rushed to the next town’s hospital. I had few stitches in my forehead. I have the scar now that looks like a third eye. If you’d feel it, you would feel a “canal” or a “crack” or something like a shallow cut to my skull.
That may be one incident contributing to my confused state of mind. Or the reason I’m having a difficulty reaching my full potential. Or even the reason that I’ve excelled in school. Haha.
I graduated from kindergarten with honors or awards. I didn’t graduate top of the class (as far as I can remember) but I was well loved by my teachers. Now I sense that I have this charm way back as a kid. I just did not think I have it. I’ve just realized it now. Maybe I still have that charm. Hehe. I’ve got to harness that charm and use it to my advantage. Lemme think…
I was afraid then to go to elementary. I felt like I wasn’t ready. Thinking now, it may be because I felt like I lacked the social skills to mingle with new people.
In any case, I went to grade school. I went to St. William’s School in San Marcelino, Zambales. It lasted for only a few days since, BOOM, Mt. Pinatubo erupted and my mother did not want to stay in Zambales anymore.
That’s it for now. I’ll continue this in another post starting with my 7th birthday, June 15, 1991 – definitely a memorable one.
