Master of Arts in Economics

The UP School of Economics is now accepting applications for its graduate programs!

Tara, mag-masters in econ na tayo! Yey!

Click here to view details on how to apply for the said program.

On Sept. 26: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE MUSINGS

<09:48>

I find it difficult to start the day with a work I hate to do.  It stalls me.  Sometimes for hours.  Can I just submit a very poor material that I’ve made?  I hate that.

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<09:54>

A lot of information, thoughts, ideas, worries, etc. are going through my mind right now.  A heck lot of lots that I can’t sort out what really is going through my mind right now.  So confused that I am almost paralyzed in my work.  And my career.  Oh the confused gal that is me — again.  Am I just thinking too much?

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<11:22>

Back from an hour-long late breakfast, I’m trying hard to do my work.  Good luck.

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<11:24>

I hate this — not being able to do my work.  I can’t work!

I can’t make my brain work.  I can’t make my brain think the things I should be thinking to do my work.

I feel like a helpless child burdened by an enormous task I am not capable of doing.

I feel like crying for being helpless.  I want to cry for not being able to keep up with the challenge.  I want to cry for the state of mind I have right now.

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<12:09>

I miss Dianne.  Good luck to you my friend.  Even for just a short while and most often confined in the walls of our office building, the moments shared with you were precious.

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<12:17>

I want to go abroad, work there, and nurture myself to a better me.  I want to stay away from the comforts of my home and make myself stronger in a different culture.

I want to try out how I’d fare in an environment where no one really knows me, where I have a lot more freedom to explore and do something unconventional of me.

Here, despite the knowledge and the attitude that I can do whatever I want (responsibly) even if that’s something very unexpected of me, I still tend to gear toward the traditional expectations of what I should become.  That’s a #$% thing.

When will I have that courage?

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<13:40>

So full.

Back from another hour-long break – lunch break.

Can I write about nothingness the whole day?  Or at least most of the day, with the rest of the time being devoted to learning photography, web design, scuba diving, sky diving, animation, and baking, among others.

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<14:26>

The most difficult part of writing – starting the piece.

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<14:44>

I hate it when I’m distracted.  Please stop the drama.  Too much emotional drain already.

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<15:01>

Oh I hate it.  Now I’m distracted.  I may be writing the first part of the paper, but with the constant reminder of our conversation, I can’t do this efficiently.

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<15:17>

I may just be simply lazy.  No.  People actually don’t think I’m lazy.  Quite the opposite.

Oh, this can be the result of my head being bumped against the corner of an elevated corridor (fortunately, not the super corner portion) at an early age.  Or the antibiotics injected to me as a baby.  Or the general anesthesia running through my veins for hours (minimum four hours, I can’t recall).  Or the effect of celebrating my 7th birthday on the destructive eruption of Mt. Pinatubo with lots of horizontal and vertical earthquakes and a sky of total darkness.

Maybe, crazy? Hahaha.

I’m insanely sane. =))

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<15:56>

Wow, time flies by so fast.  Hahaha. )

Oh my gosh, I’m not crazy.   )

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<15:57>

Still no Internet and Yahoo Messenger.  Ooohh… I love the “serenity” that a “no-YM” brings.

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<17:42>

Now I’m hungry.  After an hour-long break of just a small cup of coffee without cream, I want food to fill my grumbling stomach.

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<18:57>

Almost ready to go home.

Feeling Tired and Relaxing

Since yesterday until today, I feel tired.

I’m not tired because of work. I’m just feeling tired. I suspect it’s because of the weather. At home in Zambales, it’s almost raining non-stop. Here in Makati, it’s so hot. Inside the office, it’s so cold that I need to wear a jacket and I want to wear mittens on my right hand (the most exposed to cold brought by using a mouse).

If it’s because of the weather, it may be bad. Almost half of the people working here in our room is sick. I don’t want to deal with runny nose or a bad cough. I can easily deal with minor sore throat, but I don’t want sneezing and coughing. Just not a bad case of pharyngitis though. Not again!

On the other hand, I just may be tired from a whole day “sale” shopping yesterday. Imagine four ladies and two kids rummaging through sale stuff to find the best deal. I had a bad headache last night, so there wasn’t a good night sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow or even later this night, I can rest and relax, and charge up more energy. I need lots of energy now, especially with the new twist in my work.

Ahh… Writing can really be relaxing… Even if most of the people out there would not care what I’ve just written…. So for that, here’s something more:

Right now, I’m here in the office writing something undeniably has got nothing to do with my job.  Some people  might say, here’s this kid again surfing the net, blogging, being unproductive and wasting her time on stuff she’s not paid to do.

Hey, I don’t believe in wasting myself to work while feeling so tired.  I can’t give out a decent performance with my brain sick of pretending to be feeling fine, anyway.

More than that, I believe in enjoying life.  I love my work, by the way.  It’s very challenging intellectually and socially, but I’ll do my best.  I don’t want a mediocre performance.  So I won’t pressure myself to think and use my brain while it’s almost drained.  I just have to make sure I meet targets and deadlines.  Now, that may be a true challenge.

(“,)

Catching Up

I need a lot of catching up to do. I need to catch up with my readings on land related literature. I need to be more pro-active in engaging and encouraging concerned sectors in relation to the project I am currently involved in.

I still feel I’m performing below expectations and standards. I’m pressured, which makes me feel confused, which then makes me feel more lost.

Yet, I’m still taking it one step at a time.

My boss assured me I’m doing fine. Though, I honestly believe otherwise. I’ve set high standards for myself!

With respect to the list I made an entry ago, I’ll start with number four – being more disciplined especially with my time.

With that, my priority is getting up early and arriving at work before 9:00 a.m.

Second is setting one major goal per day (or two) and ensuring it is accomplished.

Two little steps, one major step.

Have a nice day!

(“,)

Friday, July 20, 2007, 23:42

I feel energized.

(“,)

A friend treated us (his friends) with Starbucks coffee. It was a rather short get together with only six of us present, but it was worthwhile. It’s fun and comforting to meet with friends I know I can trust and depend on. I feel lucky to have such friends. We still have time to see each other and have lives outside of work. Yeah.

(“,)

The other day (or yesterday), I chanced upon my classmate Dianne’s blog “Quickie.” That was an eye-opener, a challenge, an inspiration, a wake-up call, and just something that brought some life and fire to my blood. I actually hate to say that a simple blog entry (it was not even poetic, just a straightforward narrative of how her life was doing) made me ponder on how I was doing with my life. But she was right and she was a great example of living life to the fullest, enjoying every moment of it, and being grateful despite the challenges and hardships. Though I don’t think I can survive sleeping only four hours a night.

(“,)

At last I’ve rekindled my desire to do my best in my work. After feeling lost for about a month and not knowing how or what to do, and after feeling incompetent, anxious about not meeting expectations, afraid that I might fail (I hate to fail), and pressured to show that UP people are great including me (that’s a pressure I’ve inflicted upon myself), I have finally resolved to do something about it. Besides, I have been feeling guilty (and embarrassed) about my performance that I have been pulling my courage together to step out of my comfort zone (it’s really difficult to cope with change, but I welcome it.)

Two years of low-brain activity had been really detrimental to my thinking capacity. I had to re-learn basic economics. It takes a lot of discipline and determination. That’s difficult especially for me who had lived and survived college (with honors!) with relative ease (yabang =)). I was actually the type of student who simply wished to pass with dignity. I usually cram or procrastinate. Now I realize I can’t do that anymore. Two years of low-brain activity was bad.

(“,)

Here’s a list of the things I resolve to do:

1. Re-learn basic economics

2. Learn to write effectively

3. Talk with confidence (especially with people I have been meeting recently)

4. Manage my time; be disciplined

The most difficult is the fourth one.

I need more activities. I have experienced being more disciplined (and being more productive) when I have lots of activities in my list.

(“,)

Next then is the Frisbee team Donald is trying to organize. I’m not good in running. I’m not good in sports! The game I’m most competent in is bowling, but not competitive bowling. I doubt if I can run a kilometer without feeling so tired and weary. How can I play ultimate Frisbee with my condition?! So I volunteered to simply manage the team. Yeeha! I’m serious about it. Hahaha!

(“,)

It’s relaxing to finally write again.

To relax is not about doing less and freeing more time for sitting or lying
around. It is actually about getting busy with more activities –
especially those that you love and cherish, and those you do with the people you
love and cherish.

(“,)